The fortune teller massages their crystal ball and says "ah" about 7 or 8 times before coming to a conclusion.
"Most fortune tellers discuss your future, but I am unique in that I will tell you about an alternate timeline of your past. If you had asserted yourself a bit more with Mr. Hudson at 3:54 PM on August 15th, ten years ago, he'd have given you a unique opportunity, from which you'd have built momentum and succeeded in enhancing millions of lives through charitable works, rather than becoming the downer of a nobody you are now."